There's no greater pain

And as long as I can feel you holding on,

I'll stand tall,

Even if you said I was wrong.

Because after the events of these past few weeks

I don't want to yet again experience the void of not being able to say that "I love you" and that "I care" - just because I didn't grab the chance to do so

To lose the ability to do that for someone who means so much - there's no greater pain than that

If I knew

If i knew it would be the last time
that i'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If i knew it would be the last time
that i'd see you walk out the door,
i would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If i knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so i could play them back day after day

If i knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well i'm sure you'll have so many more,
so i can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything right.

But just in case i might be wrong,
and today is all i get to say "I care",
I'd just let it out
and those 2 words with you i would want to share

Tomorrow isn't promised to anyone,
young and old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved ones tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile , a hug, a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be thier one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry"
"thank you" or "it's okay"
And if tomorrow really doesn't come,
you'll have no regrets about today

Dad

Dad, it's been 2 weeks since you left suddenly

Dad, when you left, I was 2 days away from my first paper

Dad, when you called up at 6:53am in the morning to tell Mum that you had a tightness in the chest, I didn't think much of it

Still, Mum and I rushed downstairs

Dad, when we got there you were already on the road, I went to find the car while Mum went to your aid

Dad, I got to where you were with the car

Dad, I knew something was seriously wrong when I saw your face

Dad, Mum and I saw a wound near your knee as you lay on the road

Dad, you must have fallen because it was too painful for you to carry on walking to our block

Dad, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me most - Like how you always were for me.

Dad, Mum had already called the ambulance while I was getting the car,

Dad, they tried to resuscitate you while waiting for the ambulance

Dad, I couldn't follow you and Mum to hospital in the ambulance and could only go back upstairs

Dad, they continued to do so on the way to the hospital

Dad, you wouldn't wake up

Dad, I got the call from the hospital at 7:53am

Dad, before this, the main thing on my mind was my exams

But Dad, at that point, I realised that I didn't care anymore

Dad, I checked with the school but they wouldn't allow me to postpone my exams

Dad, I still had to go on

Dad, we couldn't claim your body from the hospital till the next morning.

Dad, for the first time in years, I slept with Mum and Mei in one room that night

Dad, the next morning, the casket company took your body to be washed and dressed

Dad, we had to wait one whole day till you arrived in a white box at our block in the evening

And Dad, can you believe I was still studying while waiting for your body to arrive

Dad, I knew that I couldn't give up completely

Dad, I placed your Bible at the foot of the coffin when it arrived

Dad, I hope you don't mind that I turned to and highlighted 2 Tim 4:7

Dad, many sent flowers, and these were placed on stands near the coffin

Dad, we used a photograph of you which was part of a family photo shoot in a studio a few years back

Dad, the area near the coffin smelt pretty good - because of the flowers

Dad, you looked so different in that coffin

Dad, I had to tell myself that that wasn't you anymore

Dad, I remembered when Sister Linda passed away, I wrote some stuff down here as well

Dad, little did I know I'd be writing something like this so soon

Dad, many friends and brethren came to your wake that night,

Dad, we drew strength from their love and concern,

Dad, even though God has called you home, He has taken care of us, don't worry for us

Dad, many of the youth stayed to watch over the coffin while I went upstairs to sleep because I had an exam the next day

Dad, I woke up the next day and didn't want to go for my exam

Dad, I went downstairs anyway to tell you I was going for my exam

Dad, you didn't respond

Dad, some of my friends came over to see you after the paper,

Dad, some of them cried for me,

Dad, I have good friends, don't worry for me

Dad, the wake was still ongoing,

Dad I wanted to spend the last few hours beside the body you had called your own for 57 years

So Dad, I had to study for my next paper while sitting beside your coffin

Dad, that was the hardest thing that I had to do in my life

Dad, i never imagined that I would have to do that

Dad, I look back and wonder how in the world did I even manage to do that

How..

But Dad, God takes care of His children

So Dad, I did.

Dad, I got annoyed with your sister because she kept asking me to pose beside your coffin for photos

Dad, what was i supposed to do then? Smile?

Dad, so I lost it, but fortunately, in the privacy of the house with no one but Mum around

Dad, I'm sorry - there were so many things, so many many things I was going through at that point

Dad, once I got my driving license you would get me to drive most of the time

Dad, I guess you got tired of driving after all these years,

Dad, I remember you used to ferry me to and fro school till I was Primary 6

Dad, you were always the one who had to drive before I got my driving license

Dad, sometimes I'd feel annoyed when you asked me to drive because I wanted to slack at the back

Dad, I know you wanted to do so as well,

And Dad, I want to tell you, that after all those years of driving here and there, I should have gladly driven you around without a single complaint,

But Dad, I guess this wasn't the case all the time

Dad, it struck me that day when we were in uncle Charlie's car following your hearse to the crematorium: "Hey Daddy, now you get to sit at the back and relax, you don't have to drive anymore"

Dad, you weren't sitting though, you were lying in a box at the back of the hearse,

Daddy, I'm sorry

Dad, we finally had to cremate your body

Dad, you always said that I had cold hands as compared to yours

At the crematorium, before we said as last goodbyes to you, I reached into your coffin and touched your hands

Dad, your body's hands were cold, and they felt as if they were made from clay

Dad, look whose hands are cold now

Dad, on the brighter side, your hair was still soft

Dad, I now had to say goodbye to the shell which housed you - the shell which I came to know and recognise as Daddy for the past 22 years

Dad, I don't know how I was able to turn away and let them wheel your coffin to the furnace

Dad, we were able to collect your ashes from the casket company the next day,

Dad, we are going to place your ashes at the All Saint's Home near our church - the same place where your dad's ashes are placed too

Dad, most of the niches there were taken up - apparently, it's a popular choice - but at least we got you a cosy little corner

Dad, we bought a little picket fence and made a small yard in front of your niche, we took one of your smallest model cars and placed it within the yard

Dad, we're do it up real nice soon, it'll look real nice I promise

Dad, you have left us physically

But Dad, every little thing I do reminds me of you

Dad, all your things are left behind in the house - you have alot of stuff

Dad, everywhere we look, there is something of yours lying around

Dad, your jeans and long pants which you wear to church are still hanging behind the door

Dad, we can't bear to wash them because your scent still lingers on those clothes of yours, so we left them as they were

Dad, your model cars and helicopters are as you left them in your little workshop - We aren't going to give them away so don't worry - But we need to give away your cans of spray paint lest they dry up

Dad, it occurred to me that I never went on your daily morning walks with you though I said I would go with you one day

Dad, I'm sorry that I never really treated Father's Day as seriously as I took Mother's Day

Dad, I packed up some of your Foundation Class notes and passed them on to Amos today

Dad, you left such a deep impression on many of our brethren

Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, I long for your physical presence

Dad, you were never one to be very noisy around the house

But Dad, with you no longer in the house, there is a silence

Dad, we turn on the radio and the TV so we don't have to face that silence when we're at home

But Dad, it doesn't really work out, because this is a different kind of silence. A silence which cannot be broken by the radio or the TV, or even friends when they come to visit

And Dad, it's so different that it get's stifling - I find it hard to breathe just going through that everyday - this void you've left

Dad, I've finished my exams already

But Dad, I've still been keeping myself busy these few days,

Dad, there's been a bible lectureship at Jurong these few days and I've been there

Dad, I really appreciate the fellowship of the many brethren and friends

Dad, so many people have come up to us to comfort us saying that we will meet again one day

Dad, I know that's true

But Dad, how long?

Dad, true, the days have been busy, but at night when all is quiet again my mind starts to race

Dad, I wonder what your spirit is doing right now

Dad, I wonder if you know what's going on back home

Dad, I wonder if you're thinking of us

Dad, I used to think I was good at expressing my feelings,

But Dad, I can't express ..

Dad, I miss you - I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to you properly

I guess it's bye for now Daddy, thank you..and wait for me - because when my work here in this world is done, I will come and join you - but I can't come just yet

Suddenly Dad, I'm no longer a 22 year old young adult - I'm your less than a year old baby boy sitting on your lap again

Daddy I Love You

Love Bab

I see.

When peace like a river attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll,

Whatever my lot,

Thou hast taught me to say,

It is well,

It is well with my soul

Neither Poverty nor Riches

"....Give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me. Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say, Who is the Lord? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain" (Proverbs 30:8-9)

Dear Lord, fill me not up completely, but leave some space in me so that I will always be mindful to acknowledge you in all that I do

I'm not perfect, but i'll keep trying.

Amidst all my shortcomings,

All I can do at the end of each day is to pray for strength

And promise myself to do better the next day

Go to bed

Amidst all you've got to do,
You still need your rest,
As they say,
Back down and charge up to fight another day,
Do sleep early if you can

It may be near though it seems afar

When all seems bleak,

And storm clouds threaten to leak,

There's bound to be that break in the mass of grey,

Where beams break through and respite to find you may,

A calm assurance that Someone's in control of it all,

A peace indescribable - never need you appall

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near though it seems so very far

So, this is for you. Smile :)

May I

Dear Lord,

May I do my best not to be arrogant and blind to my own faults - such that I do not admit that I am wrong when I am.

May I be able to exercise better temperance from now onwards

Connecting the dots

You probably won't get it all right now, but perhaps, sometime later you'll see the full picture

"Of course, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backward, so you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future"

-Steve Jobs-

Thoughts on a Friday night

Psalms 23

The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want, (that's providence)

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures,

He leadeth me beside the still waters. (that's security)

He restoreth my soul, (that's spiritual fulfillment)

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake (that's guidance)

Yea though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil:

For thou art with me (that's protection)

Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me (that's assurance and chastening)

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies (that's a promise)

Thou annointest my head with oil

My cup runneth over

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever

-In this 23rd Psalm, David switches from describing our Lord (using the word "He"), in the first 3 verses of the chapter, to talking to our Lord (using the word "thou). This is a timely reminder to all of us - that we cannot tell people about our God and leave out talking to God Himself

-A preacher and a famous actor were asked to recite the 23rd Psalm in front of an audience. The actor went first. He recited the Psalm perfectly, and when he finished, his audience was in awe. The preacher went next, and when he had finished, his audience was in tears - No doubt, the actor knew the Psalm well, however..the preacher knew the shepherd very well.

Job 2:9-10

Then said his wife unto him,

Dost thou still retain thine integrity?

Curse God,

And die

But He answered and said unto her

Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh.

What?

Shall we receive good at the hand of God,

And shall we not receive evil,

In all this did not Job sin with his lips

-A day after attending the blood drive at Jurong last Saturday, I fell ill, and here I am, still symptoming away nearly a week later. It isn't easy going for lectures and doing tutorials with a stuffed up nose and general lethargy. But lets remember that God allows evil, pain and suffering in this world because He knows we would tend to forget Him if we were free from all these. Moreover, evil, pain and suffering is a result of personal wrong choices, or wrong choices which others have made. There is a purpose to all toiling and sufferings, and a good one at that. But amidst all these, let's not overlook the blessings which we've so richly been bestowed with. When we focus on the negative, the positive tends to get overlooked.

Before i forget

Under the right circumstances, the sweetest sound to someone's ears would be that of his or her name.

One way you could tell people how much they mean to you would be by remembering what they've said, months, or even years before

One Step at a time

One step at a time,

Slow and steady wins the race,

There may be lots to do,

But if you try standing on 2 steps at once,

You'll be less stable,

It's tougher to keep your balance then.

So one thing at a time aye,

And if you can,

Hold on to the railings too

These fleeting moments

As the last few hours of the holidays fleet past, and as I look back at what I've done these 3 months. I can say that I've had a really fulfilling one. You know, our minds are like shelves. We place various memories on these shelves. And these shelves can store many happy memories for years to come, if properly cherished. Cherishing these memories would be akin to constantly making sure they are somewhere at the front of these shelves. If we don't - they'll probably we pushed all the way to the back by other thoughts and stuff till they become hard to retrieve. Then again, studies have shown that we never completely forget things. That's the beauty of the human mind.

On another note, school starts tomorrow. The beginning of a new semester and a fresh start. Whenever times got tough in my first year, I would pray, trust that God would guide me through the rain. At times, due to a lack of faith, I would still find myself worrying. I would also think of you, your optimism and down-to-earthness, and in a way draw strength from the thought. Thank you for the encouragement, though you probably didn't know you were doing that for me. It was also during these 3 months that I managed to get a glimpse out of my little window, and I'm grateful for that. Indeed ignorance is bliss, but a part of my world would have been a lie if I hadn't got that little glimpse.

Only He can tell the future..

Do we really know?

There is such alot that goes on around us everyday. The world that we are familiar with revolves mainly around what we know. That is to say, in actual fact, there are many things which we do not know. Things which happen in real time which others experience, but not us. Feelings which people have which we do not know of. Hence, more often than not in scenarios involving others, which we are faced with, we do not get the full picture of what is really happening. This would not be possible without knowing certain pieces of background information which others have, which we don't. Bottom line, we each understand this world differently, let's not jump to conclusions and start assuming when we don't have the full picture of what's going on.

The laws of life

We may have our own ideas on how things should work.

Fact is,

Despite these preconceptions,

Events will more often than not tend toward these natural laws.

Hope

Hope's a wonderful thing,

Man lives for a few days without food

For 5 minutes without oxygen

But he would not last a second without hope.

And so you see,

We live on hope everyday.

It may be frail at times,

But one thing's for sure,

It's hard to kill,

Hope is just like a rainbow,

More often than not you only see half, or less than half of it,

It's faint,

But you know it's something that remains after a storm.

James has taught:

"Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow.

For what is your life?

It is even a vapour,

That appeareth for a little time,

And then vanisheth away.

For that ye ought to say,

If the Lord will,

We shall live,

And do this,

Or that"

As much as we encourage others with these verses,

We know it isn't that easy,

When You made us and put us here in this world,

You knew that we each had our own heart's desires and ambitions,

And at this point, I realise there's so much i'd hate to leave behind.

Dear Lord however,

You have also willed us to be yielded and still,

Like clay in the potter's hands,

Hence when and if the time comes for me to stub hope out,

When in your own way you've told me "No"

Let me be able to do it,

For the greater good of those around me and myself

For whenever in life that I may need to.

Even so Dear Lord,

Grant me the patience and hope to stand firm,

If it be thy will.

It is not of mine own

Taking out my lab coat from the cupboard again,

Getting ready for a new semester,

I remembered what someone once said to me;

And I'm thankful for being believed in

It was only a few words, but it meant alot

When i prayed that if Lord willing,

I'd get into this,

I promised Him i'd do my best to use what I learnt to glorify His name

For the knowledge and skill gained is mine to keep

But the opportunity and ability to acquire it comes from Him

Walls

I don't mean to be selfish. But sometimes, I see a need to build a wall around myself. You can't please everyone, or make them happy - all the time. A firm No's in order. And though i feel quite rotten about it right now, the first step towards making a difference in the future starts with some pain.

Kites

As long as you don't let go of that string

And no matter how far in the distance I may seem,

I won't fly away

Personal space

Compromise in matters of opinion I can, and I will,

But not on my personal space

Of things loved

I love the feeling when the last paper of the semester ends,

I love the feeling of getting home after that

I love the feeling of having nothing to do that evening

I love the feeling of packing those ol' notes of the semester away

I love stacking them up away in the corner,

I love staying up late and having a good surf on the net that night,

I love getting up the following day - sleeping in as late as i can

I love waking up to having nothing to study for

I love waking up to water the mints

I love rubbing my fingers against their leaves,

I love the scent that I've rubbed off

I love the following days in which i totally wind down and relax

I love getting out of bed and going for a swim in the mornings

I love how slow things seems underwater

I love drying up and lazing on the bed again

I love how i get muscle aches after exercising

I love anticipating the upcoming activities for church

I love looking at the calender and see them coming closer and closer,

I love returning to FourSeas college and seeing the many familiar faces there

I love returning to FourSeas college to see new faces too,

I love the long train rides on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays all the way to Jurong,

I love looking out the train windows especially on bright sunny days,

I love the lifts there that we get on most days though

I love lazing behind on the mini couch in the van when we get lifts

I love the 45 minute lunches which everyone else

I love the way everyone encourages everyone else,

I love the way everyone smiles at everyone else,

I love the insights each instructor gives for each lesson,

I love the rustling sound of sweet wrappers as we try to stay awake during afternoon sessions,

I love singing hymns during chapel

I love learning more about Christian evidences because i re-affirm my faith,

I love getting together to do 10 page long term papers and thinking how to fill up the space

I love Thursday night dinners at Teo Seng,

I love drinking soya bean milk while walking back to church,

I love the company of my brothers and sisters

I love the fact that many of them live nearby

I love God

I love being quiet and listening

I love thinking about stuff too

I love expressing myself in poems

I love composing poems for those who mean alot to me

I love it when they tell me they like it

I love seeing my loved ones happy,

I love it even more If I was the cause of their joy

I love random but meaningful conversations

I love it when I find that I can connect with someone else

I love things nice, plain and simple

I love driving with my family as passengers

I love eating instant noodles late at night

I love yes or no answers, not up to you answers

I love longer text messages and not just one word ones

I love home cooked food

I love lazy Sunday afternoons

I love Sunday afternoon naps

I love it when people are open and honest

I love sweet things, but not too sweet,

I love listening to songs that I love over and over again

I love getting into the mood of the song

I love singing although i can't sing that well

I love getting into the lift with no one inside so I can practice singing out loud

I love to self-reflect though that gets me frustrated at times

I love taking things one at a time

I love getting notebooks for peoples' birthdays somehow

I love to see people happy

I love cold rainy nights

I love them because it's comfortable to sleep in that weather

I love rainy days when i'm at home

I love sentimental tunes

I love to encourage

I love being encouraged

I love trying to smile as much as I can

I love it when people smile at me too

I love adding things to this list because it reminds me how blessed I've been

I love loving and learning to love

I love being loved

I love expressing love if I can

I love having my love tested so I can know how much I want this

I love kneeling down beside my bed at night to cry if need be because I know He cares

I love kneeling down beside my bed at night to pray because I know He understands

I love that bit of hope which remains in me though I know i'm up against the odds sometimes

I love how God's promised us that all things work together for good because I know I can't handle my life alone

You.

I always thought you'd be my rose

Or so that was what i conceived

It's really amazing what love can do

Such that i simply chose not to perceive

Then again it's really no fault of yours,

And it's not my blessing too,

To chance upon this rose first,

Which is in the form of you

I guess things aren't as simple as i thought they'd be

Poems have never been so easy to compose

And i said in my heart hey this is really natural

But alas for me, you're already someone's rose

Now hope has died down greatly,

How it feels i can't put to rhyme,

Because this rose I've looked upon for so long

Is not likely ever to be mine

Thank you so much my rose,

Your smile marked so much i did

We may not have known much in person

Just somehow i felt you were it..

What's to be done then,

Honestly i don't know what I shall do

But still i'll stand at a distance because i care

If that's second best to standing by you

You're only a tiny rosebud,

A flower of God's design;

But i cannot unfold the petals,

With these clumsy hands of mine

The secret of unfolding flowers,

Is not known to such as I

God opens the flowers so easily,

But in my hands they die

If i cannot unfold a rosebud,

This flower of God's design,

Then how can i have the wisdom,

To unfold this life of mine?

So i'll trust in God for leading

Each moment of the day

I will look to God for guidance

In every step of the way

The path that lies before me

Only my Lord will know

I'll trust God to unfold these moments

Just as He unfolds the rose

You.

What makes you different

Makes you beautiful to me

Just be yourself

Just be yourself really. It'd be good to put off bad habits of course, but there's no need to change who you are for what others might think of you.

Dear Lord

Many a times we get tired of running this race,
Indeed, to choose this life would mean so much more to face
So many a times when what we've said was a mistake
We look back and wish we didn't our mouths with those words, cake
It should be a joy to help others along the way
Yet sometimes we feel there're way too many for one day
We're taught to rejoice with others when they rejoice,
Yet often times it's easier to weep with those whose eyes are moist
We ought in our dealings with others to do away with partiality
Yet many a times judgements of others leave us guarded in reality
It's true, i won't pretend to be a goodie two shoes
I have my reservations at times while struggling with the don'ts and do's
Perhaps sometimes we've forgotten there's aid from above,
Just like some birds need updraft to soar for example the dove
It's just like us humans to rely on our own stengths
As a result of that we often have to go to great lengths
To find that joy in what we do
To feel that inner peace which makes one cool
Still it's not easy i confess
All i can do is look ahead and do my best
Dear Lord
Help me to find it in myself
To be joyful in doing thy will

A dusty window pane can be frustrating at times
When hope is all you have and nothing as tangible as dimes
When you want to feel, touch and see into the distance
Yet you know you've got to wait longer for that joyous songful cadence
When you look around you and lots are almost there
And realise you're struggling behind in a no hard and fast rule affair
When the lil holes in your heart feel as if they might give way and it, tear
Because some things only appear once in a lifetime of that you're aware
Friend, perhaps you won't hit the nail in the head so quick
Yes I know It's hard for you to kick against those pricks
It all boils down to one thing once again
Dear Lord,
Help me to be patient,
Teach me to wait

In loving memory

We first met at a lectureship at Jurong Church of Christ,
Having learned that i was going to study Pharmacy, you gave me your name card and told me to contact you if i needed any advice, as you were one yourself. I'm sorry that i've seemed to have misplaced your namecard. i'm sure it's still somwhere in my cupboard but i coudn't seem to find it when i was looking for it yesterday. We didn't really contact each other regularly. But if i'm not wrong, i think i saw you at one or 2 other church events at Jurong. One prominent piece of advice you gave me was that you didn't believe in confining yourself to the doctor's prescriptions and treatments when you fell ill. You preferred to read up more on your own, on other methods of treatment. This was because you felt that recovery should be an active thing and that we should be active in controlling our recoveries. After Bro Danny's house warming, i learned that you had been coughing for a rather long time and asked you what the matter was. At that time, you had not yet found out that you had that wretched disease, and treated it as a normal ailment. Some time later you were diagnosed with Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension and that was the reason for your persistent coughs and shortlessness of breath. You told us that there was currently no known cure for the condition and that you had to undergo clinical trials for the doctors to come up with a suitable drug for your treatment. During your treatment, you suffered from acid refluxes, gastric problems and other symptoms. You were unable to eat the foods you wanted to, unable to do everything which you had planned. At times, even unable to properly care for your son, Ravel. But still you fought, and continued trusting in God.. Most of us probably won't be able to understand what you went through, the most we could do was to encourage you, pray for you and to take care of your family. But we know that you're now in a better place, waiting for each of us to come to you at the end of our pilgrimages.

In late April, we were exchanging text messages and you told me that you felt so much nearer to death, after seeing the passing of aunty Meow Cheng. I remembered telling you that the most effective way that would allow you to continue fighting would be to find that reason within you to keep on keeping on. You told me that would be your son Ravel. At that point, i still did not realise the enormity of the situation, and for that i'm sorry. Thank you very much also for the encouragement that you gave me also at that time, befor emy exams. After my exams I tried to text you again, but at that point, you were already too weak to text much. A few days later, you were admitted into hospital.

A few of us planned to go to see you in hospital after 1 or 2 days, because you weren't allowed visitors for a while. During these 1 or 2 dys, we learned of your multiple organ failures. You were put on a life support machine. On the morning of the day we were supposed to go to see you, i had to make a trip to the mall to gather some logistics for this year's June camp. We planned to see you in the afternoon. However, at the point when i finished my shopping and was just about to be on my way to see you in hospital, Angeling informed me that you were gone.

When someone has passed away, it takes a while for those that are still remaining behind to accept the fact that he or she has passed away. Because, as my mum puts it, you just don't know where to look for that person anymore. Can't seem to grasp the presence of that person anymore. And that Sis Linda, is how we feel about you now. Can't seem to grasp your presence any longer.

You may have left, but the memory of you still lives on in all of us. I may not have known you for very long or very well, but you live on in mine too.

At the wake tonight, you looked so peaceful, and we knew that you indeed had gone on to a better place. A place void of pain and tears. Looking at your empty shell in the casket tonight Linda, further re-affirms our faith in Bible, which we all believe in. There must be an entity in the human body to fill it up, to give it life. Without that something, the body on it's own has no life. That's what makes such a great difference between a living person and someone who has passed away. When you were alive Linda, that soul was in you, and we could tell that soul was in you through the life you exuberated, but now remains an empty shell. And what a difference, dear sister, we observed tonight, in your shell, without your soul to fill it up.

Indeed, the body without the soul is dead, but the soul never dies.

You fought well sister Linda, now's the time to take your rest.

Ravel's in good hands we promise.


In loving memory of Linda Sim

Life's twists and turns

And this is one of the twists and turns of life.
Having to adapt to something new. Scribblemetimbers was deleted because of "SPAM", or so it was said in the email from blogger that was sent to my hotmail. I don't exactly know what "SPAM" they were talking about, but there's no point getting frustrated over that. As they say, life's 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it, moreover, i could have unknowingly "SPAM"(med) haha. Apply this elsewhere too, for instance when you've explained yourself over and over again and yet the other party does not get your point at all.

On another note, my heart's much lighter now, and time to move on from here. Feeling pretty good that i've managed to accomplish what i set out to do so far. Today is the 25th of May. June camp's coming up in 2 weeks time, as well as the mission trip to Phillipines. Fourseas has been enjoyable. The brethren over there have been very encouraging. There's Mei, Hai, Phuc, Paul and recently, Mollie came back from Malaysia to join us, though she'll only be here for 6 weeks. Like i said, thank God for opportunities and tasks to work my mind with this holiday.

So, there you go

"Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one"

Cheers,
Reu